Let me start this off with a warning: if we are ever trying to go somewhere together and I say I definitely know the way, please go the opposite direction. I might just be one of the most directionally challenged individuals you could ever meet.
I was leaving for China in two months and as a “I’m sorry I didn’t get you a birthday present and I’m sorry I’m leaving you for a country on the other side of the world” present to, my best friend, Katie, I got us an all inclusive trip for two (thanks to a great deal on Groupon) to Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. It was our last big adventure before I was leaving and I was ready to lounge by a pool, snorkel, and try every type of tequila Mexico could throw my way. Katie’s boyfriend, Nick, was a bit skeptical of us going on our own. It could be that I continuously got lost in Belize or the fact that he was afraid that would actually cause Mexico to run out of tequila, but I just chalked it up to him being jealous he couldn’t join us. It was just three days. We couldn’t get into too many predicaments.
Day one went off, mostly without a hitch. We had an overnight layover in Dallas in which we chose to stay up the entire night and we were exhausted by the time we actually showed up at the resort. Eager to make the most of our short time there and take advantage of the free alcohol, we decided to power through and headed straight for the pool. We quickly made friends with some couples there and discussed some plans for what we might do later that night. However, we might have been overly excited for the free drinks and ended up “taking a nap” at 7:00 pm that we forgot to wake up from until the next day.
The second day though, we were all rested and ready for our snorkeling tour. It seemed easy enough to make happen. There was a bus near the resort that would take us to the marina where we would catch the boat. I didn’t bother finding out how to get back because OBVIOUSLY we would just take the same bus going in the opposite direction. Plus, I had three years of high school Spanish so I was confident I could figure it out.
We made it to the marina, got on the boat, enjoyed a few free drinks, snorkeled, and lounged around on a beach. We showed back up at the marina around mid afternoon and were ready to get back to our resort for our last big meal. We wandered out to the main road and I realized that nothing looked familiar. Were we even in the same marina we showed up in?! Whatever. I could always just ask the bus drivers as they pulled up if they were going back to our resort. However, as I quickly discovered, I didn’t remember as much Spanish as I apparently had the night before after a few shots of tequila. All the same, we managed to find a bus driver that said he was heading that way and we were off… for much longer than I seem to remember it took us to get to the marina… then the buildings started to spread out… then we were the only ones on the bus… then we were heading out of the city. Immediate thoughts of impending doom hit and I tried my mediocre at best Spanish again with the bus driver who seemed to have forgotten anyone was on the bus. He looked at me like I was crazy when I said the name of our resort and then pulled onto a highway. We were lost, confused, and not entirely sure what was going to happen next.
Luckily, the driver used the highway to head back into the city. He rapidly started pulling up alongside buses to yell at the fellow drivers asking if they were heading to our resort. About two or three buses later, he found the right one, told the driver to let us know when we needed to get off the bus, and waved goodbye. We were both relieved and shocked. We hopped onto our new bus and were back in ten minutes. Just in time to get a swim and a couple of drinks in before we had to get dressed for our dinner reservations.
Unfortunately, the couple of drinks seemed to multiply and we almost forgot about our reservations. We pulled our nice dresses over our still soaking bikinis and headed to dinner looking an absolute mess. We ordered our food (which apparently was a three course meal) and our wine (because we were classing it up a bit). The wine came first, along with appetizers. By the time we finished that, we forgot all about the last two courses and had already left the restaurant to go swimming. The food didn’t go to waste though. We suggested it be given to the table next to us. We spent the rest of our night sneaking into the pool to night swim (and getting caught) and then trying to find some place that was still serving food. After all, we hadn’t even ate dinner!
We awoke the next morning to a killer hangover and the need to pack up our room and check out of the resort. My last big trip before China was over and I was ready to get home and start preparing for my last two months in America.